Saturday, April 11, 2009N
today aint a great day. :(
had st john in the morning.
and it was the time where i finally broke down.
due to stress.
st john had become a chore to me.
for i dont know what reason.
it was terrible.
and i hate the feeling now.
i mean,
the reason i wanted to stay on for st john was partly i find fun in it.
i find joy in coming back and reminisce the memories of training.
i thought it was supposed to be that way.
but now,
i'm feeling stress.
and the eagerness aint there anymore.
maybe it's council that's creating such emotions.
but i dont think so.
maybe it was just sheer stress coming from everyone.
i disliked the way the teachers, or even officers or friends who look down on him.
who keeps trying to ask us to break up.
does breaking up us makes you happy?
he may be dislikable in the past.
but there's a total change in him.
he may look like a sheer jerk.
but do you really know him?
i know how well he treats me.
i know what he had done and gave up for me,
so i see no reason for you to keep calling him without using his name and with that person.
in addition,
i dont see any obligation to smile at your sacarastic remarks,
treating it as nothing.
by not speaking up, not showing my displeasure, it doesn not mean anything.
it just purely showing of respect.
and girl,
if i had let go, why cant you?
and if you want to argue that you suffer much hurt and harm,
COME ON.
what's mine then??
what did you do in the past???
when we were sec 3.
when you were clinging onto him,
spaming him with stupid sms-es like
DO YOU LOVE ME?
and spaming me with stupid msn like
I REALLY LOVE HIM ALOT.
come on,
stop making you sound like the only victim.
it's just only that i didnt create such a havoc like what you did.
so please let go now.
and i had given up hope on old friends.
it's just a realisation that it wont be back anymore.
so the more i will be,
treasuring my new comrades.
who's accompanying me through the upcoming battle,
and in return
having fun together
showing they understand much better.
but.
everything was made happy by my darling. :D
he waited specially for me just to eat late lunch with me.
awws. :D
dont bother spending your time hoping we break up,cos we wont.
10:01 PM
