Saturday, April 18, 2009N
i would be happier if you could just take it that nothing had happened,
and stop probing on what is happening.
sometimes i just need a breather, sometimes just a space for myself.
sometimes i will be glad, if you could just leave me alone.
11:14 PM
st john training today was slacking.
totally did nothing but rot there with the sec4 girls.
and pathetically, there were only 6 sec4 girls adding 2 sec3 who finished their home nursing examination.
so, we were asked to do first aid with them,
which apparantly, already know what to do.
like come on, they are going for competition in months time and you tell me they dont know anything?
i will ask them to give up on competition.
so, me and may, the only sncos there, were rotting.
totally rotting and waiting for time to pass.
seriously waste of time.
talked to mr lim and he was ultra amazed with my chemistry notes.
and so we were pratically rotting,
laughing at all sort of jc.
went to see the footdrill after rotting.
then became home nursing's patient.
waited for his message.
then he say he still sick.
so didnt meet up.
went studying with may, haiqel and syahirah.
hilarious.
was laughing,
and insulting. :D
haiqel's laptop is cool-ness.
tablet pc.
ultra small.
and is touch screen.
cool-ness lo.
but too small.
everything seems to be squeezed together.
thursday is ushering duty for national track and field.
hope it wont be too hot that day. :D
眼泪我会替自己擦
7:25 PM
Thursday, April 16, 2009N
life had been terrible.
or should i say,
terrible without my comrades. :\
29th student council were just invested on wednesday.
and i was sooo happy that mr lim came.
yes.
he camed and grace this event.
although mr teo didnt come due to IP coachings,
but still.
i'm happy.
that day was a moment to remember.
the wearing of student leaders' badge,
the passing down of 28th council.
the taking over of 29th council.
house council may be known as student council with the cabinets.
but, are we really given that respect as one?
are we truly recognised as one?
if yes,
why aint we reciting the council pledge together with the cabinet councils?
why aint our studies put as much emphasize as the cabinets?
i was feeling much that day.
but now,
it makes me think,
am i taking the right choice of being a council?
i know i would enjoy myself as a council.
but, what if some people just dislike you for dont know what reasons?
what if they seems to be staring at you when you are talking to the seniors?
what if they think the position you once held was due to some underhand means?
i'm not that kind of person.
but do they know?
do they know all i wanted was just a recognition that i am capable of doing all this?
and this few weeks,
i had been thinking.
had i really choose the correct thing by coming to jc?
i cant cope.
and i'm worried for my results.
i'm afraid of retaining.
if not,
scoring a sucky results for a levels.
i dont want that. :(
yes.
i'm emo-ing.
and i'm being ultra depressed.
and recently,
i have been very snappy.
that's what alan says.
teacher had been making me do stuff which are not even in my job scope.
the one who are responsible with it are sitting there doing nothing.
and yet, claiming the credits in the end.
i voiced out my concerns.
but why,
everyone takes it as a joke?
oh manns.
i'm starting to hate school.
but on the bright side,
i still love my group.
with everyone around,
i hope i can last till the end of the battle.
7:57 PM
yesterday had a scary dream.
yes.
ultra scary.
and it seems so real. :\
the dream goes like this.
i went to the pet shop for dont know what reason,
and bought a pet dog at only $68.
and then, it sort of dawned onto me that I CANT HAVE PETS.
so, silently, i brought that dog home.
yet to my amazement,
my mother actually agreed to let me keep the dog.
for she say,
it is such a waste of money if i just give it up.
i was soo happy that i hug that dog to sleep.
YES.
i hugged it to sleep.
the next day i woke up,
i was looking for it.
and i realised it was dead because it got entangled in my blanket. :\
to make up the lost,
i bought another identical dog.
but this time round, i dont know why, it look like a lizard.
we bought it out to shop.
and this giant there got a trolley specially for dogs.
so we took it.
but the lizard dog fell out and drop onto the floor and we didnt realise it.
and we ran the trolley over the tail.
like OMG.
but it wasnt dead.
it was like a lizard seriously.
so, we took extra care for it.
and wrapped it up carefully.
but...
it dried up in the end.
then i woke up.
like a crazy dream. :\
2:37 PM
Saturday, April 11, 2009N
today aint a great day. :(
had st john in the morning.
and it was the time where i finally broke down.
due to stress.
st john had become a chore to me.
for i dont know what reason.
it was terrible.
and i hate the feeling now.
i mean,
the reason i wanted to stay on for st john was partly i find fun in it.
i find joy in coming back and reminisce the memories of training.
i thought it was supposed to be that way.
but now,
i'm feeling stress.
and the eagerness aint there anymore.
maybe it's council that's creating such emotions.
but i dont think so.
maybe it was just sheer stress coming from everyone.
i disliked the way the teachers, or even officers or friends who look down on him.
who keeps trying to ask us to break up.
does breaking up us makes you happy?
he may be dislikable in the past.
but there's a total change in him.
he may look like a sheer jerk.
but do you really know him?
i know how well he treats me.
i know what he had done and gave up for me,
so i see no reason for you to keep calling him without using his name and with that person.
in addition,
i dont see any obligation to smile at your sacarastic remarks,
treating it as nothing.
by not speaking up, not showing my displeasure, it doesn not mean anything.
it just purely showing of respect.
and girl,
if i had let go, why cant you?
and if you want to argue that you suffer much hurt and harm,
COME ON.
what's mine then??
what did you do in the past???
when we were sec 3.
when you were clinging onto him,
spaming him with stupid sms-es like
DO YOU LOVE ME?
and spaming me with stupid msn like
I REALLY LOVE HIM ALOT.
come on,
stop making you sound like the only victim.
it's just only that i didnt create such a havoc like what you did.
so please let go now.
and i had given up hope on old friends.
it's just a realisation that it wont be back anymore.
so the more i will be,
treasuring my new comrades.
who's accompanying me through the upcoming battle,
and in return
having fun together
showing they understand much better.
but.
everything was made happy by my darling. :D
he waited specially for me just to eat late lunch with me.
awws. :D
dont bother spending your time hoping we break up,cos we wont.
10:01 PM
i dont know what's wrong with me recently.
i had been extremely tired.
and i mean EXTREME.
it's that kind of fall into deep sleep that kind.
today was
jie's job to wake me up.
and she did all sort of irritating stuff.
LOLS.
like getting my snoopy to hit me ultra hard.
and it's quite comfortable. :D
then she tried poking me.
she also tried tickling me.
stupid her lo.
lols
and sometimes,
i think i'm really blessed.
i had a ultra nice dear there for me.
and he really give in loads.
thanks. :D
council results are out.
i'm in.
dear in.
ariel in.
justin in.
alan in cabinet.
so our clique got 5 people in council.
and our class had 8 people in council.
cool-ness.
JURONG JUNIOR COLLEGE
29th COUNCIL INVESTITURE
DATE: 15 APRIL 2009
VENUE: JURONG JUNIOR COLLEGE LECTURE
THEATRE 5
ATTIRE: SEMI-FORMAL/FORMAL
THERE WILL BE A BUFFET AFTER THE CERMONY.
alrights.
so.
council investiture.
the ceremony which recognise the leaders of jurong junior college.
it's grand.
and formal. :D
wanted to invite yeegin and may along.
but they had cca. :(
nevermind.
so both me and dear thought of....
MR LIM YUEN TUCK and MR MIKE TEO. :D
so we went back kss just to give mr lim the invitation card.
and our card is like so cute.
it's the size of a namecard.
chio-ness.
i wish i could keep it. :D
9:51 PM
oh my darling i love you.
:D
alrights.
so this few days are hetic.
begining to feel the stress.
it's totally like rushing for O lvls.
the only thing is,
the lessons went by with a HUHS in the mind.
oh well.
but all in all,
everything's going smoothly.
beside the alien-ish stigma notation, i'm still 100% in love with maths. :D
chemistry is fun. although i tend to understand the lecture, but dont know the tutorial. :\
but i love SPA. :D
and i'm getting a hang of it. :D
physics is another love all thanks to mr kwok.
he made physics interesting la.
chinese and civics is of course my favourite.
slacker period.
most comfortable one.
rock on Doc Yee. :D
PW is fun too.
i get to share my ridiculous ideas and they say it's great!
the rest was ok la..
is scared kena retained.
i scared monday's result release.
YUCKS.
why cant it be on today?
12:25 AM