i'm so glad i have my darlings around.
be it JJ darlings.
or my KSS darlings.
they totally love me loads.
although i have them, i still miss you. :(
10:37 PM
so maybe it was just another round of emo-ism.
but all those was what she had been feeling.
she knew how much the love was.
she understand that feeling.
yet, shouldnt she be bringing all this up,
and not keep it within herself?
she wasnt sure the feeling she felt was right.
yet, she aint asking for a breakup.
she's just trying to find her way through all this mixed emotions.
she know he still love her so.
yet,
she see no reason in him avoiding her.
if avoidance is what he knows how to do,
then she rather he knows nothing.
the love that was once beautiful,
was now cursed with a potion.
that it was covered by the cloud of mist.
the love was hard to be seen.
she never wanted to give up.
yet now she's thinking again.
is it love that holds them together,
or is it something else?
she dont know what is she ranting.
she knows nothing.
let her take a break.
let her think.
3:08 PM
Saturday, March 28, 2009N
and it was like the horizon,
seems near yet impossible.
because it was too much like a fairytale,
that she had enough.
it wasnt anyone's fault, she says.
if it must, it will be mine.
for i ask for more.
for i grew greedy.
for i want more from what i had.
maybe it was time to take a break.
sleep or escape,
i dont mind.
let me leave.
to somewhere where i find pleasure in.
where every moment wont be seen as torture.
and when we know it was just an imaginary line where the earth and sky meet,
yet why do we still choose to indulge in that denial,
that one day it would happen?
is it because we were too afraid of the hurt that would occur when we realise
it was nothing,
but a denial we allowed ourselves to dip in?
a denial, where waking up would be much better.
find a better one.
know we aint the one.
we both know,
we are just trying to hold on.
we are just trying to avoid.
it wasnt like what we used to be.
10:18 PM
Thursday, March 26, 2009N
so i got my laptop. :D
although it's not some ex laptop,
it still look ultra chio.
yes.
my laptop spells ultra chio-ness.
it's in classy black.
yes.
and it's hp. :D
and the best part is,
i have like 30 over games inside. :D
say love manns.
and i cant resist the temptation la.
since it's just beside me whenever i do my homework.
and i really like the way it works for me. :D
i love it manns.
and i love school reopen.
although it means crazy work,
but.
it's still love.
love with my darlings.
went for pizza late lunch with the whole bunch of them.
and we can talk manns.
we talk loads of stuff.
and to admit,
we are loud. :\
but who cares?
as long as we had fun. :D
colin is a serious joker la.
"the amount of gangster in society today..."
colin: " i never know gangster has a SI unit of mol."
LOLS.
and his lame jokes.
"what do you call people who are jobless?"
" T-shirt. because they dont have any collar. (white collar and blue collar workers etc...)"
lame lo.
but we seriously have fun together la...
8:47 PM
urghs.
i hate my comp lar.
bleahhs.
i want my laptop like NOW.
urghs.
i miss my darlings.
:(((
i miss the days i'm in WZLC.
:(((
oh well,
i miss holidays too.
can you belive.
i just returned from school and then,
i'm going back tomorrow again.
AHHHH!!!
each time i look in your eyesoh babyi know whythis love is unbreakable.
6:12 PM
Thursday, March 19, 2009N
aik song said i look like a camper.
mr liaow said i look like a camper.
Phillip insisted i am a camper. when i told him i'm not.
i miss alan.
i miss justin.
i miss collin.
i miss ariel.
awws.
i miss my darlings.
they are sweet.
ariel.
she messaged me during my camp just to tell me to take care and dont give up.
awws.
i love her mans.
alan.
he came and look for me during LINE night.
and he hugged me when he saw i was crying.
then he was like telling me,
dont cry. you did a great job.
ahahahs.
my darling.
i was so nervous before our performance
and he hugged me to tell me to relax.
then it was the end of the camp.
he hugged me again and said i did a great job.
justin.
he came back from malaysia
and he remembered all of us.
although it was just sweets he gave,
he is still thoughtful.
collin.
i just miss his racist jokes.
ahahhas.
aik song.
he patted my head just to ask me to not give up.
i just love them all la.
6:33 PM

act cute in process.

say cheese.

the focus is on his LEVIS specs.
waste money lo.

:D

alrights.
i think this picture is cute.
ahahahs.

in the comp lab with the guys playing CS behind.

:D

waiting for my water bottle...

this is how dirty my nails got due to the painting.

yucks.
6:20 PM
it's been long since i met up with anyone.
i had missed SJ trainings since 14 Feb.
i had not returned to school since 7 Feb.
i had not seen my teachers since 12 Jan.
i had not seen my classmates since 28 Jan.
it had been such a long period of time since i meet them all.
all the way,
i have been devoting my time to JJ.
to my process of being a JJ leader.
to my WEST ZONE LINE CAMP 1.
and, i am not regretting what i had did.
although i still miss everyone of my old darlings,
i was glad i went through WZLC.
it was a moment to remember.
a rare opportunity to treasure.
it was just a blink,
and the WZLC peeps had spent 7 days in the school.
yes.
7 days.
there were times i really wanted to go home.
and pon my whole camp.
but in the end,
i perserved.
thursday, 12 March.
RONO house camp.
yes.
it may seems stupid.
but we were just staying over in school,
cheering and getting ready for friday's sports day.
friday, 13 March.
being in the athlete group,
we had to stand under the sun and recite the athletes' oath.
then, we ran up to join our houses
and started rah rah-ing them.
screaming and uplifting the spirits of everyone was important.
most importantly, encouraging the runners to carry on running.
my darling is so wonderful.
ahahahs.
he won shotput, discus and tug-of-war.
ahahahs.
after the sports day were our WZLC prep camp.
met up at 1.30.
like a camper,
we went through all the games.
did up all the left over jobs like painting and stuff.
and it seriously made my nails extremely dirty.
saturday was the going home day.
went to yanying's house to celebrate leon and yuling's birthday.
it was fun la.
although leon's fried rice really taste like normal white rice.
met up with my darlings.
and i so miss them.
talked to may until leon barged in.
he was trying to hide away from the balloons.
and he was sooo scared that he went hiding behind the double-decker bed.
like LOLS.
played comp awhile before leaving.
slept.
sunday,
woke up at 9.
and to realisation,
i'm so going to be late.
but,
i still took my time,
messaging jayne.
both of us were on the verge to pon the camp.
but we still went.
prepared.
and got ready for our presentation.
it was a joy to see 80 of us dancing as WZLC facilitators.
we were even dancing other family's mass dance.
and it was really pleasant to see how everyone moved to the music and enjoyed themselves,
cheering one another on.
dinner was far way cool.
we had pizzas and ice-cream.
then it was rotting time.
everyone learnt family 1's why are we so pro cheer
and family 3's emo clap.
it was wonderful.
slept and got ready for the major thing.
WEST ZONE LINE CAMP.
everyone woke up with a blast of music.
and to add on,
aik song sang just to make everyone wake up.
getting ready and packed up the hall,
facilitators went out to welcome the campers with our trademark welcome cheer.
WELCOME TO LINE CAMP THIS WAY PLEASE.
i could never imagine myself screaming this sentence out.
best of all,
i was touched when the campers shared that this was something that really made them feel like home.
then, i stood up the table, screaming with my facs leading them to cheer.
but the reply was disheartening.
they were silent.
quiet.
only for a few,
who screamed with us.
to them, we are just like clowns.
it was tiring.
it was disheartening.
everyone was sad that it did not go the way we want.
but,
we stood up again,
to face the next day,
hoping they would be much better.
and they did.
facs got up and with a big smile on our face,
we greeted everyone good morning.
everyone wasnt that enthu yet.
but, we went on.
kinetic warfare was the one which made them open up.
they were joyful.
they screamed.
they shouted.
they were enthu.
they were high.
we were glad.
LINE NITE was the next event which bring them to the next extreme level.
screaming and shouting,
we performed our family dance to them.
then,
we had a song singing session.
the campers shocked us by hugging us.
and of course,
everyone teared as tomorrow brings about the separation.
last day of camp,
last day of get-together.
cleaned up the area before having E-WEB.
everyone thanked each other for that wonderful experience they had.
it was then, it dawned to us that we had brought much impact to the campers.
it was us, who inspired them and motivated them.
it was us, who made they continue the camp.
of course, the campers were also the motivation i had to smile and play through the camp.
despite the lethargic everyone had due to the lack of sleep for 7 days,
we were still smiling.
despite the losing of voice,
we were still cheering.
it was touching when everyone took photos together,
when everyone left their contact numbers,
when everyone left a note on why you had impacted them,
when thankyou messages start flowing in after they left.
it was a great feeling.
tonight we'll remember,
all the times we spent together.
the joy and laughter that we had.
3:06 PM
hectic busy life.
running a camp aint easy.
being with my group is humorous plus fun.
recently,
alan's mentality had been drastically decreased to that of a kindergartner.
he's able to entertain himself with the GC.
by playing truth or dare, lottery, blackjack...
loads.
and he's totally amazed by it.
with justin.
their truth or dare are scary.
they made alan went to the Qoo vending machine and say i love you loudly.
during our break.
LOLS.
ariel changed a new LG phone.
which is much loved by justin.
and justin went,
'i want that phone. in pink colour.'
LOLS.
i just love my new darlings.
they made me happy.
9:52 PM
heard some rumors on my family head being a lousy leader for the reason he never do anything.
and i think it's ridiculous la.
not trying to side whoever,
but.
i think they just dont know what it means to be a leader.
to me,
i think that leaders are people who distributes their work to their subordinates and make sure they do it.
rather than getting all the jobs onto their shoulders
and do EVERYTHING themselves.
that kind of 'leader' is stupid.
you dont know how to make use of the authority you have to let your people work.
and you in return,
can find the time to make sure everything goes right.
and i think people who cant understand all this makes me question your ability to be my leader.
and please,
dont go around telling people you are from a UG.
telling people you hold a staff sergeant rank.
it makes everything pathetic and disgraceful.
when you dont even know what leaders are supposed to do.
LOUSY.
and dont give me that act cute act blur act innocent face.
it turns me off.
dont act as if i'm super close to you.
it makes me disgusted.
dont mix my personal life into business.
it makes me irritated.
get lost dude.
you aint fit to be my leader.
9:08 PM
humans have mistake.
the smallest thing you lie about brings the biggest impact.
i have been so freaking busy.
and the week is hectic.
staying back in school until 8.30 is necessary.
but i'm enjoying myself. :D
1:40 PM
YAY-NESS
i'm currently at may house.
all because my stupid computer died on me.
EVIL COMP.
anyways,
LINE CAMP training is COOL lurhs.
and and,
i'm not depressed anymore!!!!
am the facilitator for LINE camp.
and it sooo rocks.
we revised all our dances again!!!
and it's running in my mind!!!
like LALALALALA
i so love LINE CAMP!!!
when he silently cried for you, you will know how much you meant to him.
3:37 PM