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Tuesday, December 30, 2008N

Fairy tales are nothing but contrast to the reality. Living in the harsh reality is terrible, yet living in a fake fairytale is worst. People have to learn to grow. Mature to realise the hypocrisy that was well hidden under your fairytale. Grow to discover that your once beloved fairytale is no way better than what the adult world is. For betrayals, lies and heartbroken make the fundamental layer of all. Survive with a mask placed on as innocence would be treated like vermin. Gone will be the naivete and the child-like experience. In place will be a touch of coldness and hard-hearted. That's what they call growth.

that paragraph was for SOKTING.
for no special reason.
or well, she shocked me with a sentence.
'i love your blog. because i always go there when i'm emo.'
hahas.
so maybe, that was part of the reason why this particular paragraph was posted.

i forgot when it was written. but well, i guess during that period of time, i must have had enough of my life. hahas.

really, sometimes i always ask why do i have to go through such a dramatic life mixed with extreme inter human relationship? why cant i be just like any other normal 16 year old girl going through her normal peaceful secondary school life? why must i be met with so many decisions to make which will make an impact to me on my later half of my life? why must i keep on going through the same old thing and never learn from it? maybe that's what everyone call destiny. all along, i believed that our life is pre-destined. whatever decisions you made, it was meant to be. it was meant to be to let you fall. to let you get hurt and cry. for the outcome of those lessons will benefit you in the future. hahas. i dont know what i'm ranting about. but.

since life has made it this way for me to pass it, i shall face it. for i know, my darlings love me and will be there for me. :D

maybe you didnt meant it.
but, you always know how much i mind.
why are you acting nonchalant about it.
i tried to mention it to you,
tried to let you know how displeased i am.
yet, you always choose to brush it aside.
i know you dont mean it.
or... i think i know.
maybe you had always been right.
i shant stop you,
like how you never stop me.
even if i dislike it so much,
i should just ignore it.
maybe.
but, i really dislike it.

telling me that nothing is going on,
when the first thing you did after ending our conversation was to contact her.
tell me..
how can i trust it all?

maybe. i have been asking too much. breathe in, let go a little.

heart blue w/ glitter 3:11 PM